


In Which Daniel Doesn't Talk to Himself

by Tallulah_Rasa



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Friendship, Gen, change, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-29
Updated: 2014-08-29
Packaged: 2018-02-15 07:28:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2220660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tallulah_Rasa/pseuds/Tallulah_Rasa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You can't live in the past, but sometimes you can visit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which Daniel Doesn't Talk to Himself

**Author's Note:**

> Rewriting has a lot in common with redecorating, I think. You rearrange your bits and pieces. You get rid of the stuff that's broken, or shabby, or that never worked right to begin with. You move the flowery thing that was blocking the light. Eventually, if you get it right, you end up with something clean and uncluttered, something with its own unique rhythm and style, something that makes sense. And, often, with an armchair you still kind of like, even though it's worn and dated and doesn't go with the new decor.  
> So...this is an out-take from "So Long, Farewell, See You Around," a left-over that turned out to be the wrong color and the wrong style. Consider it an AU veering off from our Season 4.

It was more difficult than he'd thought it would be, which was saying something. On top of the embarrassing number of reasons it was a bad idea, he wasn't comfortable with the stealth and lying the plan required. Also, he hadn't thought about how hard it would be to lug the box all by himself. Ironic, that, considering he'd put the plan in motion when he realized just how very alone he was.

He picked his time -- a routine, three-week expedition with SG-5, checking out the deserted remains of a once-Goa'uld-run planet. No one questioned his bringing along a huge carton of "supplies", and not one of SG-5 questioned his request to pop over to the Land of the Light for a few hours one evening. He'd had explanations ready -- something about Melosha, and some gifts, or how it was safe, and wouldn't cost the SGC anything -- but SG-5 was in the midst of a heated game of poker; they waved him off without asking a thing. _This is it,_ he thought, which was the same thing he'd thought the first time through the Gate. He lugged his box through to Tupelo's world, and as soon as he got there he ran to the DHD and punched in the symbols for PX3-989.

The Gate on 989 might have some kind of iris now, he knew, or the...well, natives...might have decided to routinely destroy anything coming through, so he sent a signal first, a paperback copy of Budge. A tissue box would have been clearer, but it also might have said some things he wasn't sure he wanted to say. Budge would do, and it wasn't like he cared what happened to the book. He scrawled in the flyleaf: _I'd like to stop by, if it's okay. Let me know. I won't be here long, but if I don't hear from you I'll try again in a few weeks. D._ He added the coordinates, and tossed the book through the wormhole.

The event horizon winked shut, and he sat on the box, waiting. _Next time_ , he thought, _I'll get one of those big plastic boxes, the kind with wheels,_ but then he realized he was thinking about the next time, so he concentrated on mentally cataloguing the ways the original Minoan influence had evolved on Tupelo's world, instead.

The Gate whooshed open a little bit later, and the battered copy of Budge sailed through. On the flyleaf there was a new inscription: _Come on in, the water's fine. J._

He thought about the rituals of excavation, of exploring the past, when he dialed the Gate again. When the wormhole to 989 came to life, he shoved his box through, took a deep breath, and stepped after it.

* * *

They were all waiting on the other side.

"Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said, and Sam exclaimed, "Daniel!" with what sounded like genuine pleasure.

"Don't," Jack said, "say _comtraya_ , or I'll have to hurt you."

Daniel grinned then, though he was aware the other Daniel hadn't said anything. That had been his biggest worry, after the maybe-iris. He didn't want the other Daniel to feel his place was being even momentarily usurped, to feel that he was being out-Daniel'ed. Also, he didn't want that Daniel to know what had happened at the SGC, because he might start wondering about _his_ team. The other Daniel was a worrier, Daniel suspected.

Daniel pointed to the box, which was now more than a little worn, and covered with a fine layer of dust and grime. "I brought you a few things," he said.

"For us?" Sam said, diving for the box, and the other Daniel lit up, too. _He probably knows what I brought_ , Daniel thought. Sam tore into the carton like a kid at a birthday party, with Teal'c and the other Daniel peering over her shoulder. Daniel watched as they exclaimed over the books and magazines and tools, the DVD player and the candles and movies. He was aware of Jack hanging back, watching his team, but mostly watching him. It was...reassuring, Daniel realized. Familiar. _This is how it used to be..._

The lure of the past had never been so powerful, even on that first trip to Abydos. Daniel wanted to touch them, all of them, but instead he clenched his hands at his sides and watched as Teal'c unearthed the boombox, and Sam made faces at the opera CDs. _Next time,_ he thought, _i_ _-Pods. And maybe... I wonder if I could get a motorcycle through the Gate?_

Wrapped up in the logistics -- how, exactly, would he explain _that_ to General Hammond? --  he was startled to find Jack at his ear, asking quietly, "Not that this isn't nice, but what's the occasion?"

"I just thought..." Daniel began. The other Daniel was looking at him. _I knew this would be the hard part,_ Daniel told himself, but he was oddly comfortable.

Jack and the other Daniel exchanged a split-second look, and then Jack was looking at Daniel again. "Is this a one-off?" he asked. "Because I have a shopping list."

"Sir!" Sam said. "That's hardly--" but the other Daniel put a hand on her arm, and she broke off.

"Oh!" Daniel said, "I tried to think of everything you might...okay, yeah, I'd be happy to try and get whatever else you want." He frowned, thinking about the plans he'd tried not to make for _next time._ "It might be take me a while, because I haven't quite figured out how to...well, I can't just dial up from the SGC, I have to--"

"Yeah," Jack said. "I get it."

"But I can do it," Daniel went on, already sorting through possibilities and opportunities. "I just have to wait until...I can't be with, well, you know -- you. My you. The other, uh...It's\--"

"In my quarters," Jack said. "The list. Come with me."

Daniel glanced at the others. Sam was clearly puzzled, but Teal'c inclined his head, and the other Daniel nodded, so when Jack took off Daniel followed.

Jack made his way easily over a catwalk and some oddly-angled stairs. _A spring in his step,_ Daniel thought, and then, _probably literally._ Still, he couldn't help but feel happy for this Jack, with the better knees that would never give him trouble.

They passed through a mess of bare corridors punctuated with hanging pipes and patched concrete, until they finally came to a large, clean room filled with fleets of tiny airplanes modeled in wood, metal and paper. "Nice," Daniel said, looking around.

"I have some free time," Jack said, shrugging.

"Yeah, uh, how's that going?" Daniel asked. "And where's Harlan?"

Jack just looked at him. Same eyes, same expression. "He's recharging. What gives, Daniel?"

"What?"

"What's up? Why are you here?" Jack settled onto what was clearly a hand-made chair, though not hand-crafted. He gestured to Daniel to take another. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything's--"

" _Don't_ say everything's fine."

"It is, though. I just -- I just thought you guys might want some stuff. Journals. Magazines. Candles for Teal'c..."

"And...?"

"And...I wanted to see all of you," Daniel admitted.

"You don't see enough of us at the SGC?" Jack asked, hesitating just a bit before saying _SGC_ out loud.

"I see you all," Daniel said. "You're all -- the other you's \-- are all fine. It's just...well, things change, you know?"

"I have some passing acquaintance with the concept, yes," Jack said, still looking intently at Daniel.

"So...I wanted to see... _this_ you."

Jack's eyes narrowed. "What _exactly_ is going on there? And skip the part where everything's fine."

"It _is_ ," Daniel insisted.

"Uh-huh," Jack said. "Tell me another one, Daniel."

Daniel carefully lifted one intricately folded paper airplane, more origami than model, and ran a finger over the sleek, crisp edges. "Things are...we've all been through a lot in the past few years," he said.

"Yeah, well, a few life-and-death, world-threatening emergencies here and there. What's the problem? Those are the things that keep life interesting," Jack said. He leaned back, rocking his chair on two legs."The things that bring people closer together."

"Some people, yes."

Jack took what appeared to be a deep breath, righted his chair, and leaned forward. "Daniel, I have a few thousand years, but you've probably got an hour here, tops. I'm thinking you came for a reason, so..."

"SG-1 is different, now. Not so much one-for-all, all-for-one," Daniel said, trying to smile, though he knew Jack would see past it. "Which is, you know, to be expected. It happens. Everywhere. Academic departments. Families.  It probably happens in military units all the time."

Jack took the airplane out of Daniel's hand and launched it in a graceful arc across the room. "You and Teal'c having problems?" he asked, as they watched the plane glide to a stop on a shelf that had apparently been installed for just that purpose.

"Me and --? No! No, it's not like that. And it's nothing that..."

"Right," Jack said. "It's nothing."

_Robots can sigh,_ Daniel thought. _Huh._ Distracted, he was talking before he knew what he was saying. "Shifting alliances," he blurted. "It's a common motif in history, actually. It's--"

"Who?"

"Uh...well, you. The other you, and Sam, the other Sam, are..."

"Huh," Jack said. " _Huh_. Well."

"So that...changes things. How things run. How we all relate. Which is...well, sometimes it's a little hard. But it's fine, really. I just--"

"What does Teal'c think about it?" Jack asked.

"I don't know. I've never talked to him about it," Daniel said. "I can't -- I can't say anything to anyone. I'm not even supposed to know, though obviously that's . . .and maybe it's nothing, and it just _looks_ like...but either way, the military has rules, regulations. Sam and Jack could get in trouble."

" _Big_ trouble," Jack  agreed."Though it sounds like they already have."

Daniel blinked. "What?" he asked, but before Jack could answer, he added, "Uh -- do you?"

"Do I? Do I what?"

"Do you and your Sam...uh...have a relationship?"

"Hell, no!"

Daniel leaned back, watching Jack. "It's not so far-fetched. I mean, obviously the feelings are there. Were there. Whatever. You started out the same as they were, even though you've had different lives since...since. And besides, for the two of you, it's not against regulations. You _can_."

"Exactly," Jack said, staring hard at Daniel. " _Exactly._ "

"What?"

But Jack just closed his eyes for a moment.He tapped his chest and then his temple, and then looked at Daniel again. "Internal radio," he explained. "We keep in touch."

"Huh. That must be..." Daniel began, but he couldn't decide how to end the thought.

"Yeah," Jack said, smiling a little. "Anyway, the others are, uh, starting to worry about you. We should go back." He stood, put out a hand, and pulled Daniel up. "It's...what they're doing, your Sam and Jack? It's got nothing to do with you."

"I know," Daniel said, as they started making their way back to 989's Gate. "It's just..."

"I know," Jack said.

Daniel stopped and turned to look at Jack. "We're...SG-1, my SG-1, we're all part of each other. Inside each other, in way. Not like what you have with the radio, but like...like bones. So when they...sometimes I feel like I've lost this solid thing inside me, like I can't stand up anymore. But then I wonder if maybe I just _thought_ I used to be solid. That I... that I could stand. I wonder if maybe I never really could. So I needed to...to see you again. SG-1. To see how it was," he said. "To see that it was real."

Jack nodded, and they started walking again. "Yeah. I get that," Jack said quietly. "It's not exactly the same thing, but...yeah, I wonder if what I remember was real. I understand that."

They were quiet after that, but then, at the last corner, Daniel asked, "Did you really have a list?"

"Yeah," Jack said. "I did. Not so much, now."

"Oh," Daniel said.

"I could make another," Jack said.

Daniel stopped. "I--"

Jack faced him. "You could come back, you know. Visit a while. We wouldn't mind. _Daniel_ wouldn't mind. You could ask him."

Daniel shook his head. "I'll send you whatever I can," he said. "But...I can't come back. It's not a good idea. This isn't my life.  It's his. Yours."

Jack nodded. "Okay," he said quietly. "If that's how you feel." He looked around the barren corridor, avoiding Daniel's eyes. "At least you get to say a proper goodbye," he said to the wall behind Daniel's left shoulder.

"I--" Daniel started again, and then he stopped and extended his right hand. "Goodbye, Jack," he said formally.

Jack nodded and made a face, and then he shook his head. "You know what? I changed my mind. How about we skip the goodbyes, huh?"

Daniel kept his hand out. "See you around, Jack," he said softly.

This time Jack smiled, just a little, and then he shook Daniel's hand. "Yeah," he said, and then, "See you around, Dr. Jackson."

* * *

It was easier than he'd thought it would be, lying to General Hammond. It helped that when SG-5 spilled the beans they'd mentioned Melosha; when Hammond called him in all Daniel had to do was nod.

"I'm sure you can understand, Dr. Jackson," Hammond said. "We can't have off-world personnel making side trips through the Gate, particularly on their own. The safety factors are--"

"I do understand, Sir. I'm sorry," Daniel said.

"You should have cleared your trip to the Land of the Light beforehand," Hammond continued.

"Yes, Sir," Daniel said. "I should have thought of that."

"Next time, please let me know your plans ahead of time," Hammond said.

"I, uh -- excuse me?" Daniel said.

Hammond gave him a look of pure sympathy. "I do understand, son," he said.

_I'm not sure I do,_ Daniel thought, but it wasn't as though he'd never before leaped into a situation he didn't fully understand, a place he didn't belong, a conversation in a language he didn't yet speak.

"Now, is there anything else?"

"No, Sir. Thank you, Sir." Daniel stood up slowly, thinking about the future, and things unknown, and _next time._ "Unless --would we be able to, uh, keep this to ourselves?"

Hammond gave him a long look then, but all he said was, "All right, son. If that's what you want. For the time being, I won't share this with...anyone." He gave Daniel a little smile. "But -- at some point, you might want to talk to someone about this."

_Or to myself,_ Daniel thought. "Yes, Sir," he said as he turned toward the door. "I'll certainly think about that."

 

End

 


End file.
